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artist/writer-researcher/curator

An early mock-up of the wall display for Schizo, when exhibited.



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The photo-text slide show



From one form to another an adjustment is made. He does not wake up from not thinking about thinking, but this is the destination. Waking down is the nightmare he cannot emerge from. Stop noticing the disorder is the cry - an acceptance is the preferred endpoint or level of comprehension. The understanding that plants die if you don't water them is just too simple it would appear. The heating is always on, cooking the smells in this waiting room where carpet is a constant. Stains abound. Normally apart, he learns to be. The rotten fruit smells - no rain - but dampness sets in. Feet are always cold, now. Does he believe or understand anything? Accepting normality is what must be comprehended. Estrangement is fine - no problem. Some people like to be alone in thought. But your distrust will not work. Moving from one state to another, going forth, this is agreed. No more 'present', as rationally there is none. Experience is to be expected, anticipated - always think of the next time. Great! Think of the next and one before that. Don't stop and try to read the text. Those rituals - what is ancient within these grounds can be worshiped today? This mediation is relentless and includes the perpetual aberrations. The output is the usual insistence on some procrastination or other. It is blatantly apparent. But never act on it, don't point it out to them. If this is done timing is crucial. And note, these habits must be learnt. Situations have to occur at certain, specific times, otherwise one will slip away. Are they helping or just controlling? Always take the long cut, its true; everything on the walk is. The same people, been seeing them for a lifetime, more or less, and no one else notices they are going grey, everywhere. They continually eye the 'problem', even if just a glance given. 'They had their chance' - chance gone. Taking yourself to be…thinking; to not be thinking; to be no thing. If you follow now, he won't follow, will not follow. For you understand nothing at all; nothing at all does he understand. He must seem/behave singular, although his multiplicity is known. Ignore this. Abandon the futile and ominous understanding. Clearly he is selfish, as to worry people is this way - they have never had to learn of these inevitabilities. Not to mention the cost, the inconvenience. They always thought 'rest' would help. It should help…oh such egotism. The lanes are so quiet, yet everything is heard there. Senses are heightened to their extremities. In these moments all sensation becomes seamless; no good or bad, just whole. The black bags are still by the railway and the paths of this journey are always there. Late at night he and his friend see the figure and their bags here, sometimes. Sitting on the old adjacent wall, still standing just, halved. This is forever a shadow and continually a journey. Much worse than fear is depersonalisation, this is even more debilitating over time. The sense of losing your autonomy is fear, the anxiety of becoming 'it'. This can be shifted however; it is a near mystical operation, going from one status to another. Avoiding the objectification and negating the fear. They are all it. I am surrounded by objects. The scent of building-up is familiar - such a necessity. The machinations of the mind are a ghetto - create a ghetto. The machine controls the body and the object, but the mind is machine and it has to work in such a manner. This must be continually remembered. The report has been written and this is what it has alleged. During the journey, there is still no break with acceptance from the unreal oneself.




Here is a selection of images from the Schizo piece, in the show Human Blues at St. Margaret's House in Edinburgh, February 2015.
Tam Hare © 2024